染雾英语搞笑经典句子大全 篇一
在快节奏的生活中，我们都需要一些搞笑的句子来放松心情。下面是一些英语搞笑经典句子，希望能给大家带来欢乐和快乐！
1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
我曾向上帝祈求一辆自行车，但我知道上帝不会这样做。所以我偷了一辆自行车，然后向他祈求宽恕。
2. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
如果你认为没人在乎你是否活着，那就试试不交几个账单。
3. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
我过去常常优柔寡断，现在我也不确定了。
4. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus, a slice of lemon. And a shot of tequila.
我总是对生活保持一定的怀疑态度。加上一小撮盐，一片柠檬和一杯龙舌兰酒。
5. The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary.
唯一的例外是在字典中，成功这个词排在工作之前。
6. I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
我不是笨手笨脚，只是地板讨厌我，桌子和椅子欺负我，墙挡住我的路。
7. The road to success is always under construction.
通往成功的路总是在施工中。
8. I don't need a hairstylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
我不需要发型师，因为我的枕头每天早上都会给我一种新的发型。
9. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
生活是短暂的，趁着还有牙齿时微笑吧。
10. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
我喜欢最后期限，喜欢它们在身边飞过时发出的声音。
这些搞笑的句子不仅能带给我们欢乐，也能让我们放松心情。希望大家在繁忙的生活中能够保持一颗愉快的心态，享受每一天！
英语搞笑经典句子大全 篇二
当我们感到压力和疲惫时，一些搞笑的句子可以帮助我们放松和恢复活力。下面是一些英语搞笑经典句子，让我们一起笑一笑吧！
1. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
我告诉妻子她的眉毛画得太高了，她看起来很惊讶。
2. I'm not lazy. I'm just on energy-saving mode.
我不是懒，我只是开启了节能模式。
3. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.
我不是个彻底的白痴，有些部分还缺失着。
4. I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
我正在进行威士忌减肥法，已经失去了三天了。
5. I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
我曾经是个面包师傅，但我挣不到足够的钱。
6. I'm not arguing. I'm simply explaining why I'm right.
我不是在争论，我只是在解释为什么我是对的。
7. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
我曾经沉迷于转圈舞，但我改变了自己。
8. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
妻子告诉我我应该做深蹲来保持身材。那将是一个重要的进步。
9. I'm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
我不是笨手笨脚，只是地板讨厌我，桌子和椅子欺负我，墙挡住我的路。
10. I'm not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.
我不是说我讨厌你，但如果你着火了而我有水，我会喝掉它。
这些搞笑的句子能够带给我们欢乐和轻松。无论在何时何地，保持一颗愉快的心态是非常重要的。希望大家能够每天都笑口常开，过上快乐的生活！
英语搞笑经典句子大全 篇三
1. 女人无才是德，我想我一定太缺德了。
2. The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise.
3. 虽然我不能菩度众生，但我可以祸害苍生。
4. 生活不只有眼前的苟且，还有数不清的作业。
5. 往后余生，爆瘦是我，有钱也是我。
6. You Give Me Stop! 你给我站住！
7. I hope that when I receive the red packet, I will open it and write another packet.
8. 爱情就像一张照片，需要大量的暗室时间来培养。(外国人也很保守，在黑暗中工作，哈哈)
9. 诸葛亮出山前，也没带过兵!凭啥我就要工作经验?
10. I give you face you don’t wanna face 我给你脸你不要脸。
11. An idle youth, a needy age 少壮不努力,老大徒伤悲dao
12. A new broom sweeps clean 新官du上任三把zhi火
13. 做一个吃货无忧无虑，当一个痴货无牵无挂。
14. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
15. 这世上没有过不去的坎，只有过不完的坎。
16. Some things need not be argued, obeyed on the surface and resisted secretly.
17. 知道你过的不好，我就安心了。
18. You really don't look down on fat people. You're crazy when you're thin.
19. Horse horse tiger tiger 马马虎虎
20. 妈妈说人最好不要错过两样东西，最后一班回家的车和一个深爱你的人。Mom said you’d better not miss two things , the last bus to home and the person who loves you deeply.
21. You ask me, me ask who? 你问我，我问谁?
22. After knowing you, a sense of intellectual superiority arises spontaneously.
23. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
24. It's said that when we get to the white head together, you secretly bake oil!
25. 服饰就像铁丝网，它阻止你贸然行动，但不妨碍你尽情观看。
26. 你有没有注意到讨厌你的人都很丑？
27. The man called the romantic love rich,rich in the coquettish woman.
28. xxxHard work never kills anybody.xxx But why take the risk? xxx
29. For beautiful eyes,on the line,and told myself,my wife than they were.
30. 我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是个妞。
31. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
32. Since I will play QQ,I found my pinyin is getting better and better,the study did not have this effect.
33. 自恋不是罪，迷恋哥的请后面排队。
34. 生活的一半是倒霉的，另一半是如何处理倒霉的。
35. 大师兄，你知道吗?二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了。
36. In heaven there is no white out the pie,but white out the bricks.
37. A piece of cake 小菜一碟
38. 人生的最大遗憾莫过于错误地坚持了不该坚持的，轻易地放弃了不该放弃的……
39. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
40. 生活不能像烹饪一样，所有的材料都准备好了才放进锅里。
41. 如果你看到面前的阴影，别怕，那是因为你的背后有阳光……
42. Thinking of how far,how far you roll; light how fast,how fast you roll.
43. 长这么大，作业一直对我们不离不弃。
44. Sometimes you want to give up the teacher, at the same time the teacher wants to give up you.
45. The more you learn,the more you know,The more you know,the more you forget.The more you forget,the less you know. So why bother to learn.
46. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
47. It's no use having eyes when you're blind.
48. 不要对姐放电，你哥有来电显示。
49. 天上没有白馅饼，倒着白砖。
50. 那些迈不过去的坎儿，还不是因为你腿短！
51. 老师，你给我多少分，我就祝你活到多少岁。
52. 快乐的单身汉迟早会结婚，幸福不是永久的。
53. 你就是我心中的那首忐忑，总是让我惊心动魄。
54. 自从会玩QQ之后发现拼音越来越好，读书也没有效果。
55. The earth is now called a village.
56. Others laugh at me for wearing thick clothes. I laugh at others for freezing.
57. 我不整理房间，我是乱室佳人。
58. Living half are bad luck,the other half is how to handle it.
59. Teacher, I wish you as many years as you give me.
60. Sleepy spring, tired summer, tired autumn, hibernatio
61. When two‘s company, three‘s the result!
62. Follow onexxxs heart 随心所欲
63. 把我想得太复杂，说明你也不简单。
64. Life can not cook,all the materials are ready was the pot.
65. Although I can't Bodhisattva all living beings, but I can harm all living beings.
66. 有些人靠实力，而我靠丰富的想象力。
67. 还能冲动，表示你还对生活有激情，总是冲动，表示你还不懂生活。If you acts on impulse, you have passions in life, if you always acts on impulse, you don’t know what life is.
68. 上帝决定谁是你的亲戚。幸运的是，他给了你选择朋友的空间。
69. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends.
70. 再多的牛逼时光 也比不上一起**的岁月。
71. Abroad: Thought and ability is the key,the domestic: relationship and can run.
72. 上联：活着没有意义，下联：自杀没有勇气，横批：白走一次。
73. 友情就像花瓶一样，被人一捣鼓就碎了。
74. Behind every successful man,there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man,there are two.
75. 姐不是客服人员，你没权要求姐答这答那。
76. 我不喜欢你，像吃了花椒的邻居，麻了隔壁。
77. I'm relieved to know that you're not doing well.
78. Where there is a will, there is a way 有志者,事竟成
79. Love who who 爱
谁谁。
80. 应该有更好的方法开始新的一天，而不是每天早上醒来。
81. 自拍这种东西：三分天注定，七分靠滤镜。
82. 暗恋是成功的哑剧，说出来就成了悲剧！
83. The wise never marry,And when they marry they become otherwise.
84. Adamxxxs apple 喉结
85. 后座上的孩子会出事故，后座上的孩子会出事故。
86. 说好一起到白头，你却偷偷焗了油！
87. xxxWork fascinates me.xxx I can look at it for hours! xxx
88. The king is awalys lucky 王老吉
89. My head hurts so much. Someone must be squeezing my wisdom.
90. Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep.
91. 国外:思想和才能是王道，国内:关系和马屁可以横行。
92. 青春就是疯狂的奔跑，然后华丽的跌倒。
93. 想跟你在一起，把蠢传给你。
94. Brother,you have to face the resolution is good?
95. You have seed, I will give you some color to see see. 你有种，我要给你点颜色瞧瞧。
96. Sometimes fat is also a kind of beauty, at least I'm fat but not greasy.
97. The world has always been cruel. You can only be a doll if you don't play.
98. 相爱没有那么容易，每个人都有自己的手机。
99. Your biggest problem is not to be confused about the future, but to be unable to get up.
100. 考试伤害了多少孩子，让多少诚实的孩子学会作弊。
101. 一个人快乐，两个人生活，三个人就是你死我活。
102. no three no four 不三不四
103. 努力工作不会导致死亡！但我不会用自己来证明。
104. 自从用了黑人牙膏，牙齿白了，人黑了。
105. 有时你想放弃老师，在此同时老师也想放弃你。
106. It's too hot this day. I want to find someone to fight for a few days.
107. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
108. Secret love is a successful pantomime, which becomes a tragedy!
109. 泼出去的水，老子连盆子都不要了。
110. 这天真的是太热了，想找个人冷战几天。
111. My principle is: the person does not make me,I do not prisoners; if the person make me,I will getangry!
112. 头这么痛，肯定是有人在榨取我的智慧。
113. 毛爷爷说，不结婚的对象都是流氓。
114. 我问一个在深圳工作了二十年的朋友：“如果你死后，你的墓志铭打算写点啥?”他说：“我解决了住房问题!”
115. 装什么城里人，现在地球都叫村。
116. In those days, I was only six and a half Jin when I was the thinnest!
117. 梦想被狗吃了，然后过上了狗样的生活。
118. 我卖的了梦，装得了酷，我是超级无敌美少女。
119. you don’t bird me,I don’t bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你
120. Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk?
121. Love is not so easy, everyone has their own mobile phone.
122. 男人情史丰富叫浪漫，女人情史丰富叫风骚。
123. First scroll: Live meaningless,the second line of a couplet: Dutch actno courage,horizontal batch: white go back.
124. 认识你之后，一种智力上的优越感，油然而生。
125. One should love animals. They are so tasty.
126. A thousang-li journey is stated by taking the first step 千里之行,始于足下
127. 我的原则是:人不犯我，我不犯人；人犯我，我就生死！
128. I have a flirt with hot chicks ability,but he is a girl.
129. Money is not everything. Theres Mastercard Visa.
130. Friendship is like a vase, which is broken as soon as it is pounded.
131. 有些事情无须争辩，表面服从，偷偷反抗。
132. We two who and who？ 咱俩谁跟谁啊！
133. I don't clean my room. I'm a mess girl.
134. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
135. no money no talk 没钱免谈
136. To be a carefree eater, to be a fool.
137. Dream still has to have, otherwise one day drink much what you chat with people.
138. Poisonous & Evil Rubbish 有毒有害垃圾
139. Germany is the onlywoman,I think I must be too mean.
140. big one mother 大姨妈
141. 想多远，你就滚多远；光速有多快，你就滚多快。
142. Themore you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more youforget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn.
143. The dream was eaten by the dog, and then led a dog like life.
144. 我有能力泡妞，可惜我是个妞。
145. 成熟不是心变老，而是装逼的次数越来越少。
146. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
147. 想当年，姐最瘦的时候才六斤半！
